What I’ve Learned About Myself While Healing

Dear Healed Black Girl,

Here are all the things that bring me joy—in no particular order:

The sun.
Sitting in a park.
Listening to music (especially some version of jazz).
Dancing.
Moving slow and taking my time.
Paying attention to my breath.
Going to the gym.
Interactions with strangers.
People-watching.
Sleep.
Laying in bed.
Eating food I cooked (my body is becoming more and more sensitive to “outside” food).
Making art.
Reading—especially anything related to Buddhism.
Learning about the city of New Orleans and planning my trip there.
Talking to my mom.
Reflecting. Thinking.

These are just a few of the things.
And what’s wild is… all of this joy? It’s new. As in—within the last couple of years.

I spent well over 30 years surviving. Doing what was socially acceptable. And to be honest, I enjoyed a lot of it—day parties, brunches, all of that. But after a while, those things stopped feeling fulfilling. I found myself looking for stimulation. Just... looking for something to do.

Until one day, I stopped.
I sat down and curated my day.
I made a plan for a solo day, just for me.

From there, I started making more of those kinds of plans—slowly learning what I liked, what I gravitated toward. I even gave myself permission to cancel plans I made with myself. And that felt so freeing.

I was learning me.

And now, I know me. Or at least—I know the version of me that exists today.
That version might change—maybe even tomorrow.
But I’m committed to continued learning.

Because the more I learn me,
the more I can heal me.

So I’ll ask you, Healed Black Girl:
What have you learned about yourself in your healing journey?

With love,
A fellow Healed Black Girl